Hugonaut+Meigher

I am Hugonaut Meigher, I have no idea what the word hugonaut even means. I am a naut of the hugo. To make a short story long, I do something with something named hugo. I am a retired major league baseball umpire, who owns a bar at the center of the Earth. I helped film the conspiracy of the moon landing. No one ever actually went to the moon, because it is made out of Chloroform. Although, NASA and Sealy are planning to harvest the moon's chloroform and make the best beds ever created.